10年留学老师总结邮件写作技巧 助你敲开名校之门(收藏)

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本帖最后由 我考网艺术留学 于 2021-3-26 11:55 编辑

对于要申请海外大学的同学们来说,写一封得体的邮件可以说是一项必不可少的技能。无论是前期向学校询问相关申请信息,或是通过邮件补充申请材料,又或者是得知申请结果后的反馈,往往需要通过邮件与学校进行沟通联系。
对于大学来说,除了通过邮件与申请者进行沟通,一些大学还会将学生的邮件作为申请文书的一部分,放入申请材料中进行整体审核。这么看来,写一封得体的邮件可以说是相当重要了。

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今天的文章,我们就讨论写邮件的注意事项。这些技巧不仅仅局限在申请大学,即便是正式学习过程中抑或是工作场合,很多的原理也适用。
在具体分析之前,我们首先需要注册一个较为正式的邮箱名。现在我们最常用的邮箱可能就是QQ邮箱了。毕竟和微信、QQ绑定后,邮件查收起来真的很方便,但是,1234567@qq.com显示在发件人一栏真的看上去非常不正规。
因此,建议同学们注册一个专门用于申请的邮箱,邮箱名前缀可以是你的名字或名字缩写,比如jackychan1996@sina.com,看上去就要比上面那一串数字好得多。

我们在分析范文前先列原则

简:不要拖沓,用简练的语言表达。
全:内容上要包含所有想咨询的问题。
题目:邮件的目的明确,让对方一目了然。
附件:尽量放入正文不使用附件。


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申请前邮件
假设我们需要发送一封邮件给南加州大学的工程学院,询问托福的某项小分要求,能否接受低1分。这当然是假设的情况,工程学院通常对小分是没有要求的。但这里你可以用任何的其它条件去替换“托福小分要求”。
Dear Admissions Officer:
注意,任何邮件都应该有明确的指向性,Dear Sir or Madam或者To Whom It May Concern这样的称谓是不正式的。如果负责招生的招生官是Adam Anderson,就需要写Dear Adam或者Dear Mr. Anderson,至少也是Dear Admissions Officer。
还有请注意,Admissions是复数。

My name is XXX and I am interested in your MS Operations Research Engineering program. By writing to you, I would like to enquire about the TOEFL sub-score (speaking) requirement for the this MS program – the sub-score of mine is 19, 1 point short. My next test is in October. Thus, should I submit the 98 score to complete my application early, or should I wait?
很多同学觉得在第一段应该有自我介绍,哪怕是简短的。这里Leo老师认为:先提出问题让对方有个概念。如果Admissions Officer很忙,不想接着读下去,TA也可以就你的问题作出回复。
“My next test is in October. Thus, should I submit the 98 score to complete my application early, or should I wait?”
需要特别注意:询问或请求,应该是请对方给你建议。如果这样写:”Can I still apply with the 98 score?” 明显是有问题的。(为什么你不能再考?你是出于什么原因就非得用98分申请?)
之后就可以做简短的自我介绍:

Let me briefly introduce myself. I am currently a senior student with a 3.76 cumulative GPA, TOEFL 98, GRE V149, M169, AW 3.5. I major in Industrial Engineering at The Ohio State University. I initially heard of your MS program through OSU alumni who are now in this program.
I initially heard of your MS program through OSU alumni who are now in this program.
这个信息加分。全文即:
Subject: Re. TOEFL sub-score admissions requirement

Dear Admissions Officer:

My name is XXX and I am interested in your MS Operations Research Engineering program. By writing to you, I would like to enquire about the TOEFL sub-score (speaking) requirement for the this MS program – the sub-score of mine is 19, 1 point short. My next test is in October. Thus, should I submit the 98 score to complete my application early, or should I wait?

Let me briefly introduce myself. I am currently a senior student with a 3.76 cumulative GPA, TOEFL 98, GRE V149, M169, AW 3.5. I major in Industrial Engineering at The Ohio State University. I initially heard of your MS program through OSU alumni who are now in this program.

Your reply is highly appreciated.


Regards,


XXX

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申请中的邮件
申请中需要联系的事情比较常规(例如询问材料是否寄到、和招生官联系面试时间等等),都非常流程化,不做详细分析。
需要注意一点,为了节省招生官的时间,在邮件第一段一定要写明自己的姓名、申请编号、申请的项目,方便招生官尽快定位。
我们在此主要谈如何写邮件争取waitlisted转正。
要想了解waitlist,你首先要知道Yield。Yield就是指接受大学录取并进入大学读书的学生百分比。比如,如果一所大学发出1000封录取通知书,其中只有100位学生决定上学,那Yield为10%。如果其中650名学生决定上学,则Yield为65%。
美国大学通常就是根据他们Yield的历史经验,来决定他们每年发出多少录取信。为了保证完成自己的招生指标,所以往往会会大量发waitlist,当遇到有的学生拒绝了offer时,大学将转向候补名单以填补这部分学生的差额。
如果你是申请硕士被waitlisted,你多半是达到了可以被录取的大pool。此时写这封邮件的目的:提供近期的更新;争取面试。
需要注意的是,因为这样的邮件并非申请的必要材料,并不是每所大学都欢迎waitlisted后的争取邮件和补充资料。如果某些专业有专门给WL学生的通道,那么那里就是写邮件、更新简历等的地方。
如果学校明确说明提供任何后续材料对申请并无用处,则切忌联系。不过申请研究生一般没有这样的规定。

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Dear Adam,
需要说明一点,争取邮件通常是要发到负责该项目录取的个人的邮箱。发到招生办的邮箱不一定会有人回复。

I am XXX, a waitlisted applicant for your MS in ERM program (Application ID: 123456). Columbia has forever been my top choice, and this affection has only grown over time. With this email, I wish to iterate my steadfast devotion and provide updates on my candidacy.

正文开头先把最重要的信息放出来 - steadfast devotion。具体体现在:标化分刷分、重要课外活动(比如课外考取了一些资质考试如CFA、某领域的从业者资格证书等等)、研究成果更新。
These past months has been substantial progresses I made in the field of finance. I have achieved a GMAT score of 740; I have self-studied many courses in finance and risk related fields, and passed CFA Level I test in my senior year. In order to prepare myself for the field of risk management, I am now studying FRM by myself and will sit for the FRM exam in May.
不少被WL的同学都寄希望于用邮件来争取转正,但此时已经被放弃了能够左右录取的一些指标,比如说刷标化分。在这个节骨眼上,如果能够拿出一个改善的标化分,作用不言而喻。
接下来:
I understand that interview is common in your review process; and therefore I wholeheartedly request an opportunity to Skype with you at a time of your convenience.
如果该项目有面试,被WL的同学多半没有收到面试邀请。因此可以用这封邮件去争取面试。同时这个争取的动作本身也是一种说明。


全文:

Subject: Updates from waitlisted applicant (ID# 123456)

Dear Adam,

I am XXX, a waitlisted applicant for your MS in ERM program (Application ID: 123456). Columbia has forever been my top choice, and this affection has only grown over time. With this email, I wish to iterate my steadfast devotion and provide updates on my candidacy.

These past months has been substantial progresses I made in the field of finance. I have achieved a GMAT score of 740; I have self-studied many courses in finance and risk related fields, and passed CFA Level I test in my senior year. In order to prepare myself for the field of risk management, I am now studying FRM by myself and will sit for the FRM exam in May.

I understand that interview is common in your review process; and therefore I wholeheartedly request an opportunity to Skype with you at a time of your convenience.

Again, thank you so much for your consideration.

Regards,

XXX
上面的邮件只是一个开端,在随后的时间段(每周或者每两周或者每月),都要提供新的更新。比如研究的新进展、资质考试的进度等等。
回到我们开头的问题,写邮件为什么对申请重要?因为相比500-1000字的PS和一页篇幅的简历,这小半年的申请下来,累计最多的信息输出就是和学校之间的往来邮件,几个月内少说几十封邮件。可以这样说:
能不能申请是问来的,
材料齐不齐是催来的,
面试行不行是争来的。


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